“Aren’t you afraid you’ll get too attached?”
Think about all the people you love, your mother, father, spouse, child, friend. Are you afraid you’ll get too attached to those people? You’ve probably never thought about it. You just love them without pondering the day you’ll have to live on this earth without them. I bet when the Lord calls home someone you desperately love you won’t think, “I wish I had loved them less, I wish I hadn’t gotten so attached.” Instead you’ll think of moments you could have spent together, of time wasted. You’ll wish you had one more day with them, one more hug, one last kiss, one final “I love you” spoken.
It is a very strong possibility that I may one day have to say goodbye to my bubba boy who I’ve had the pleasure of loving since he was four and a half months old. That decision is completely out of my hands. I get through each day by trusting in the Lord’s plan for our family. I don’t love bubba less because he could be reunited with his birth mom. I don’t put up an emotional wall because the judge could take him from my arms. Instead I LOVE HIM FULLY! I celebrate every milestone, I throw elaborate parties, I take him on vacation. Why? Because that’s what I do for the people I love. I’m not willing to compromise my current joy to avoid future heartbreak.
My heart is so full being bubba’s “mama.” He makes me laugh everyday, he has taught me so many incredible things about myself and his smile is the happiest, most innocent thing I’ve ever seen.
If I wanted to avoid possible earth shattering heartbreak I could have chosen not to become a foster mom. But think about all of the joy I would have missed out on. All of the life lessons I would have never learned. All of the wonderful memories I wouldn’t be able to look back on.
One day we’ll all face heart break, it’s inevitable. Don’t let that fear keep you from loving hard! Treat everyday as it’s your last. Don’t live too far into the future and love with recklessness.
Whether we have them for a life time or just a short season we love them with all our hearts. Should it just be a season let it be the best season of their little lives!
Such a powerful and emotional topic. It truly would be so heartbreaking to love a child so much and to have them taken away but also amazing to think about that child being taken into a strangers home and loved so unconditionally. Every child no matter if they are foster children can only hope for such a loving family. It truly is a beautiful thing and that little boy can only benefit from it.
I’ve been a follower of yours for years, and I’ve been heart broken with you on your journey to conceive. You and your husband are amazing parents to little Bubba and he’s blessed to have you both. Trust in God’s plan for you all ❤️ Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us!
Thanks for following along, Jacalyn! It sure has been a tough journey but I’m thankful it led us to bubba!
It is hard to love someone less because something may happen in the future. Bubba is lucky to have you as his foster-mama, Maureen.
Thanks, Sara!
Loved hearing your perspective on this. Getting too attached is something I have heard many people use as a reason why they felt like they could never foster. The best thing I ever read about foster care and getting too attached though was from a woman who said…good, she hoped she became too attached. Because that is what those little ones needed. Someone to feel attached to them. You are doing a wonderful job with that little boy!
Thank you so much, Jamie! Yes, getting attached is hard and scary but just what these innocent, little loves need!
Proud of you!
Thank you so much!